Thursday 7 June 2007

Thank you, thank you xx

Well, I hardly know where to start! What an amazing, wonderful, supportive bunch you are. On Wednesday I moaned my little heart out and the response from this dear site completely bowled me over. So many brilliant suggestions flooded onto the page that today I can honestly say I feel a weight has been lifted. I cannot thank you all enough. I have read, thought about and taken on board all you have said and this morning feel more like Pipany than I have for a long while. And so to action! No more the wallowing (which makes me feel worse anyway); on to the lists (well, I am a list kinda gal) and forth into positivity!

Here are the things I have decided to take from your comments, adding and embellishing as feels right for me:
Step 1 - Each day write a list with these headings (How was I such a crap teacher?!)- General - for normal jobs that have to be done (keep small!)
Me - Put three things on it that will be purely for me (candlelit bath, see a friend, etc) and try to do at least one. Achievements - three things that I keep trying to do but never manage, however small (might be painting a door or baking a cake) Kids - One special thing to take away the guilt of not giving time (might be going to the park or chatting with one on their own). I do this anyway but it will make me appreciate just what I do with them! Dave - Something nice each day (send a card to work for him to find in his pigeon-hole, run a candlelit bath, etc). Again, we are both quite good at this (particularly Dave) but tiredness etches its way into each day and we sometimes forget. At the end of each day, write down what I liked about the day and b*****r the rest!

Well, it works for me! Yesterday I felt as though I had been let off the hook and decided to stop beating myself up about things. Isabella and I met up with a friend, went for a beautiful walk through Penjerrick (such a beautiful name) and swapped plants. Perfect. After collecting Lucy from school, we visited Granny for tea and cakes followed by a trip to buy the makings of a special meal for me and Dave - antipasto for starters involving all sorts of piquant, tasty foods to be eaten as finger food (love the feel of squishy spiced peppers and juicy olives dribbling through my fingers) and a rich paella for after. It was supposed to be a surprise as he had yet another meeting which meant he wouldn't be home till late, but we arrived back to find him on the sofa as the meeting was cancelled and so he played cards with Lucy at the kitchen table, chatting away as I cooked. Later I checked my emails to find he had sent me one from work with only the simple words, "I love you." Life's not so bad really, is it?

So once again, thank you Purple People. I suppose I knew what I needed to do but reading all your suggestions and supportive words gave me some clarity which I had been unable to find. I still don't have a clue what direction I am heading in, but it doesn't matter as I am heading somewhere! For once the Fates, the gods or god himself can decide!

And to end, a wonderful bit from the lovely UPL which I think is relevant to all of us sometimes and was a brilliant thing for me to do - when it all gets to much, just say this out (to your God, whoever that may be)..."Ok, I am here. You take over because I'm knackered and no longer have any idea what I'm doing."

Brilliant! Have a lovely day all x

17 comments:

  1. So pleased that you're feeling a bit brighter. I'm sure that if I'd had the support of people like the cooers all those years ago when my depression started, things would not have got as bad as they did. Now chin up - or in my case chins up - keep being nice to yourself. Toady

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  2. All good ideas what you are doing! Well done. Being positive is the only way forward for all of us.

    Thanks for your comments on mine re reading - I left a reply on your last blog.

    If you have never read 'Simple Abundance' by Sarah Ban Breathnach then you should. Often get it cheap on ebay.

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  3. Great to see you back on form Pipany! But don't beat yourself up if occasionally it slips-you are human and we do get down every now and again. Seize the day and enjoy. Your Dave sounds an absolute treasure.xx

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  4. I like UPL's comments!!

    And what a lovely message from Dave.

    So pleased you feel more positive and feel more motivated. Don't go mad though, remember to take plenty of time out and be kind to yourself.

    warmest wishes
    xx

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  5. Dave is obviously a bit of a treasure! So glad this wonderful community helped a bit. I love Un Peu's saying too. xx

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  6. Hurrah for Pipany! And totally agree with Faith re Sarah Ban do dah - her book SImple Abundance is fabulous! Know you'd love it.

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  7. Thats the way to do it girl onwards and upwards!

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  8. What a sweetie you are. We all know it. Now we want you to have a glimpse of it yourself.
    Every time I see that photo of you on the beach (yes, the one with the back view) it just makes me feel happier.
    Enjoy your weekend.

    xxx ooo to you and to you entire family, Pipany. There, I got the pleasure of typing that name again!

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  9. I missed your previous blog - so sorry to hear that you were feeling down, but happy now to read that you are feeling much better. It's so important to listen to your own voice when you spend such a big part of your life listening to others (children, husband etc) and to take care of your own spirit. It sounds as though you're doing fine!

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  10. There's always light at the end of a tunnel, no matter how bad things seem at the time. Your light shines for you, brighter than you can ever imagine. Take it in your grasp and remember how truly special you are. Love Crystal x

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  11. glad you are up again. so much good stuff in life!

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  12. hurray for positive thinking! glad life is looking better - and what fab weather we've been having.

    But am looking out now at downpour... but hey it's good for hte garden.

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  13. Glad to read you have perked up it is quite amazing how much you have managed to do and the trouble with teaching is it is all consuming. Don't think I could go back to whole class teaching and deal with coming home to my four.

    Missed you when you were off line and have taken a couple of days off myself to get things done been nice catching up
    RachelXX

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  14. Oh Pipany, just catching up and realise I am so far behind, sorry to read your previous blog, I too am no longer teaching, can totally relate to your hopeless feelings related to the job.Lovely to read the latest blog, you sound a lot happier.Hope all is going well. Posiex

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  15. Glad to see you're back on form - good girl!

    I found the Sarah Ban Breathnach book vomit-worthy, but then I'm a horrid cynical ole witch, so it may be right up your street. I gave it to my friend Charlotte who loves it. Horses for Courses.
    xx

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  16. Oh dear Pipany!! Now you've been tagged too!! Ha ha........ 8 facts about yourself that we didn't already know please. Sorry - not my fault, blame @themill for starting it and Posie Rosie for tagging me!!xx

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