Friday, 15 June 2007

Spiders and secrets.

I was going to write a blog about the spider poking its hairy legs out from under the fridge. I discovered its revolting presence as I lobbed a crisp packet into the bin and bent to retrieve said packet when it inevitably missed the target (no, no good at any throwing games). As I leaned down with graceful agility to scoop it up, my eyes were drawn toward the 'Thing' half-visible amongst the debris not yet swept from the floor and I leaped back with as much gracelessness as it is possible to muster to stand trembling by the kitchen sink. Now, I am not usually such a wuss about spiders, but it was the shock which caused my over-the-top reaction. Once I had steadied the nerves with a reviving swig of last night's dregs, I crept forth with shoe raised high above my head prepared to wallop the poor thing should it decide to advance, only to discover it was the top of a tomato! You know, the calyx where the flower rots away to leave something which closely resembles a spider. Well, I thought it looked very alike anyway!

So, having decided to jot down the spider episode after all, I realise I am trying to put off writing the blog I ought to write which is the one about my sister-in-law...she of the terminal cancer which wasn't as mentioned in my list yesterday. Now, my problem is that there are a number of issues around the writing that concern me:

1. Will it seem as though I am using what was/ is a horrendous ordeal as a means of sensationalism?

2. Will it mean I can work through it and gain some perspective on the whole bloody thing or will it mean that I have opened up a whole can of worms that I am mostly able to keep buried away in my head (though it haunts us day and night with the threat of its re-emergance)

3. Will you all think this is one barking saga too many and disappear forever therefore meaning I will need to leave the site unless I am capable of pretending to be someone else and lie my way through future blogs about some make-believe family (though of course, this could be great fun and a chance to be someone who has HUGE self-esteem and is highly successful at all she does!!!)

4. Are there some stories which should remain private?

It is not a pretty story; in fact, it is an extremely ugly one which I am both embarrassed and horrified in equal measures to have lived through, but I am aware that I stupidly mentioned it as it, once again, was in my mind at just the wrong moment. Anyhow, let me know what you think. No offence will be taken and I shall be more than happy to return to relating stories of tomato spiders and so on.

On another note, I am intrigued to know what has happened to some of the Purplecoo crew. I decided to read some blogs I have not yet visited only to find some of them either haven't blogged for ages or else have never blogged at all. Why? Names that come to mind? Oh, I can't remember - curse my bad memory! Obviously we know Milla is up to her eyes since the Dyson episode, but what of the others? Well, I just thought it was a point worth raising!

Have a good weekend all (and as ever, sorry for the ramble today!) xx


  1. Y'know Pipany this is your blog and you are entitled to write exactly as you please. Can't help you on whether you should/shouldn't but maybe write and save then think about it a bit.

    It is an intriguing story but not one I would imagine that reflects badly on you. I don't think you have any worries about people not reading you/getting kicked off the site. Honestly. I'll still read you.

    Does Blogger allow people to do password protected posts? I know other blog sites do, that might be a solution. We could email you for the password if we wanted to read it.

    Just had to add love the pic. Your little girl is such a cutie. MHx

  2. Gorgeous little girl.
    Sometimes we need to express our feelings, sometimes they are, as you say, too private or fragile. It is only you who can tell.

    Did you by any chance go to Tremough Convent school?

  3. Hi Pipany, I have been asking myself similiar questions, its why I held off blogging so long, and am still tentative in what I write, and probably will be for a very long time to come. Faith said in a post of hers somewhere that it was about validation, I think in many ways that is true, I think what MamaHen wrote here is true too. I will probably be shot down for saying this, but one thing I do detect here is a vunerability we purplecooers all seem to share, a lack of self esteem?, and maybe this is a mirror that reflects us, and when we ask mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all. It reaches back to us and says, your are, your soul is beautiful. I think thats all most people want, not affirmation of how they look , or how they sound, but that someone has seen them, and likes what they see beyond the packaging. My take on this space is it should serve your needs, what you want, not what you think others want, its a time to stop being selfless as all mothers are, and be you. Thats the bit I struggle with too though. I enjoyed reading your thoughts, some echoed my own. Zoë x

  4. Loved Zoe's comments above, I think there's a lot of truth in them. Like MH said, it's up to you - if you think it will feel OK to get it all out, then do it, you know as well as I do the therapeutic nature of blogging! It sounds upsetting and bizarre and frankly horrible, but that won't reflect on you at all! Sometimes these things have lessons in them for all of us, in a non-obvious kind of way, if you know what I mean. I liked MH's idea of a password protected piece, if you didn't want it to be totally 'out there'. I may well share something deeply personal and horrible one day, but I'd only do it that way, I think.

  5. Write what you want there is no point in writing what you think people want to read, first and foremost you should do it for yourself, if others want to read it and comment its a real bonus.I love reading the blogs that come from the heart and if its a tomato stalk coming from under the fridge,so be it.Write from the heart and not from the head they really do make the best reads.

  6. Pipany - sit down at your computer coffee/wine and chocolate by your side and look into your heart and ask what will be helpful to you . . .then empty your head and type and see where it takes you.

  7. Loved the phantom spider. I've done that. With regard to the other business of course we're all intrigued but it's your decision. If you feel in any way uncomfortable don't blog it. None of us will think any the less of you whatever you decide. Toady

  8. Absolutely agree with Westerwitch (teacher's pet!)! Seriously 'blogging' is completely uncharted writing territory for me so I would suggest you go with whatever that still, small voice inside is telling you to do.

  9. I was unnerved by the train/legs thing when it appeared in your writing piece 'I remember'. And am horrified to find it's true. I thought you just had a ghoulish imagination!

    That's a truly awful thing to happen and bizarrely conniving and coldly calculating of her to put you all through it. No mental problems? Pur-lease, as they say!

    I think we all have 'issues' of one type or another, and that's why we blog - trying to work through them. There are things I'd love to explore through writing about them - get feedback and work through feelings and confusion... but don't feel able to 'just in case'.

    Keep writing, we'll keep reading - it's great stuff, and I know I'm not the only one who enjoys it.


  10. I don't think I can add much to the many wise words already written.

    It's your space, write what you wish. It may be helpful, cathartic to set things down - work things through, get some perspective.(Or as mamahen suggests, write it down and save it for later.)

    That Purplecoo is a wonderful community of non-judgemental and supportive listeners/readers - should be a help.

    And enjoy that gorgeous family.

  11. have just found your blog after you also ranted on Suffolk Mum's blog! My husband gathers the tops of tomatoes, clusters them in his hand and then throws them at me saying, 'uurrggh, spiders'. What a wag.

    Don't know about blogging about personal does leave you very exposed, but will also probably get you lots of support. I tend to write offline, have a think, post it anyway and then agonise for days... I'm with you on the self-esteem thing!

    How many children do you have?!

  12. just popped back from my blog after your comments....still staggering after reading about all your children! how lovely...and i would love to have a duck.

  13. ScattyMare is me. Sorry if the IM caused any consternation yesterday, I was just being friendly.

  14. everyone says what I want to say only better. Think the idea of writing it with a view to writing it is a good one and maybe you'll feel differently emotionally once you've finished and can decide then whether to post it or not. And if you do post it, and then regret it, at least this site allows you to withdraw it.
    Shuddering at near-spider experience. Dregs most necessary! Still here surrounded by whirring drills and the most vile dusty ghastly mess you can imagine. Back properly one day ....

  15. When I started writing about my paranormal experiences and this house, I wondered if people would really appreciate it or if they would think what a load of **** and go to the next site. I have been pleasantly surprised. People want to hear about your life. That's why I enjoy this blogging so much. Everyone's life if interesting, exciting and private it you wish it to be. I think a blog about your sister-in-law would be a good read, however, is entirely your decision should you wish to divulge that part of your life. If people don't want to read it, they won't. I will read it. Sometimes it helps to get things off the chest, share a secret etc.
    Crystal x

  16. I too have bashed many an innocent tomato stalk to smithereens in cases of mistaken identity. Easily done and Oh, the relief.
    Re the other stuff, I know what you mean. I battle endlessly about whether to blog certain things or not. Often I write the blog and then delete it without publishing it....that might be an option - write it and see how you feel when it's there in black and white....
    Have to say I totally agree with Zoe - have been thinking myself that there seems to be common links of issues that join us...fascinating.
    Anyhow, totally up to you but, as the others have said, I think this is the one place you could say pretty nearly anything and know people would be there for you.

  17. I found writing about my illness amazingly helpful but i was only writing about myself and the support i received from my family. i did do a lot of writing and reading it before actually blogging it.

  18. Pipany, if you write it, I will read it, that's all I can say.

    My eldest daughter once arrived back at our local station when someone had just gone under a train, and she clearly saw the severed leg on the track before the police hurried the passengers away. Horrible things happen. I don't know if writing about it is good or bad, right or wrong.

    EMJane would like to think that your last sentence was true, but havent got the confidence to blog about my past life/events.